DEAR DEIDRE: I’ve had great sex with women I pick up on the job, but I can’t perform with my wife.
I’m a 37-year-old man. My wife is 34 and beautiful, but since she had our son three years ago, she’s not interested in intimacy.
She had a cesarean section and says that when they opened her, they “turned off” her sex drive.
I work as a sales representative and sell hair products to hairdressers.
I am a handsome guy and I travel all over the country, often in hotels.
I get lonely, so I take off my wedding ring and often ask women in my parlors for drinks.
If I’m lucky, I’ll spend the night with them.
Their ages range from 19 to 30. The sex is great and I never have a problem with these women.
I leave them satisfied and sometimes we meet a second time when I go back with more hairdressing supplies.
I tell them it’s just a little fun so they don’t expect anything.
I miss my wife when I travel and when I am at home I sometimes try to have sex with her.
With a little persuasion, she could try it with the lights off. But more often than not, my wedding suit lets me down.
She doesn’t seem to mind because she never worries about the intercourse. Sometimes she just gives me what I want because she feels it’s her duty.
Our sex life was great before we became parents and I hoped it would stay that way.
But maybe this is part of normal adult life?
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal answer, usually within 24 hours on working days.
However, I don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to cheat, but I can’t live without sex.
Can any man my age? What do you recommend?
DEIDRE SAYS: Stop the cheating.
Your erectile dysfunction is probably related to the guilt you feel about cheating on your wife.
Have you asked her why she is no longer interested in sex?
She obviously doesn’t feel confident because when it comes to sex she just wants to be with the lights off.
Support her in this. Tell her she’s beautiful and you still love her.
Let her know that you miss the connection you once had and would like to reconnect. Ask her what you can do to get her in the mood again.
You endanger your own sexual health and hers by sleeping around.
And have you thought about how harmful it would be if one of these women got pregnant?
So stop cheating and focus purely on your wife and what you can do together.
My Support Packages Can’t Be Faithful? and sex problems after a baby can help you.